The routine of school is beginning to get to me. Wake up, make lunch, go to school, stress out, come home, do work, pass out, and do it all over again. My to-do this piles up as I seem to have less and less hours everyday. Senior year. Those two words to me embody a realm of fear. How silly I feel to have not realized sooner the real reality of life beyond my high school identity. What do I want to be? Who do I want to be? I don't seem to have time to dote on these questions anymore. College applications go unwritten, crafts go undone, clothes go unwashed. But amongst all this fear, all this worry, all this un-ness, I am getting by. Slowly but surely. Taking each second one step at a time. I want to do it all, but I'm learning to master self love and self acceptance. I am human, and if anything, I will get by. For now, that's good enough for me. And when I have time, I don't just get by, I live. I laugh with friends. I drink a cup of pumpkin spice with Joel. I have loving conversations with my father. These moments of living help me get by. So, if you are like me this season of busy change and beauty just trying to get by, don't forget that the key to that art is finding little moments to live.
Sorry this post has no photos, I haven't pulled out my camera all week due to the business which is depressing since I love photography.
Also, additional thougths: I don't really know what I want to do when I grow up so I'm starting to list basic truths about myself in the hopes that studying myself with help me figure out what to study.
My list of truths so far:
- I have a deep desire to help others
- I love nature
- I need to be creative
- I need to be challenged
Thanks for reading. xoxo sarah jasmine.
I understand you.
ReplyDeleteStep by step and you find solution.
And by the way your photos are great.
I swear to god we were thinking the same thing at the same time. At least, a probable solution to those thoughts.
ReplyDeletehttp://topicaltenor.blogspot.com/2012/09/500-days-of-school-its-not-as-bad-as-it.html