Since my junior year is almost over and it's about time for me to begin applying for college I've been having a lot of mini freak-out sessions. The "oh-god-what-will-I-do-with-my-life" kind of freak out sessions. I mean, I've always had short and long term goals, but no real set -this is what I will do- plan that people consider very "applicable" (unless you consider my idea of writing book and traveling around in a winnebago 'til I'm 25 practical). I put things on my list of dreams like "win a noble prize" and "go to india", but I can't help but have this doubt and voice in my mind that reminds me I have no idea what to study in college to fulfill these dreams. I'm going back and forth between design and writing. Then writing and business. Maybe let's throw some french in there. Ivy League or not? Should I even try to apply anywhere out of Texas? What if I never get my SAT scores up?
The list of worry goes on.
The truth is I've always been way to out there when it comes to goals and dreams. My idea of "practical" is never practical. In fact a lot of the times I can be down right irrational and I do things like this blog expecting immediate success and when I have slow days I get bummed.
This is the problem with deciding my future. I love so much, and I want to go big in all of it. And the daunting idea of choosing ONE school and ONE major and being ONE thing just gets me all frazzled. So, maybe it's time I stop freaking out about the practicality of my giant dreams and focus on making them a reality. It's my future and my happiness, and by golly I'm going to do what I want! Maybe being a designer/writer/humanitarian/artist/photographer/crafter/biologist/journalist/french-speaking business owner isn't totally practical, but it's totally me. I just have to take it step-by-step and day-by-day and be patient with myself and my dreams, reminding myself that the worst I could do is make a mistake and start over.
So, don't be afraid to dream crazy or dream big. I don't want to ever let fear or doubt of my abilities let me settle and I don't think you should either. Dreams are meant for changing, and recreating, and being crazy, and finally fulfilling.
Anyway, sorry about this rambling.
Have a great evening. much love, sarah jasmine.
(p.s- the photo is an original print by me that I doodled in an attempt to build my dream of being a designer. besides that it really has nothing to do with this post... I'm just a little happy about it.)
You should do some expository writing for a magazine, I think.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I think. haha.
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